The lights are on

Fear does not exist, it doesn’t lurk inside of me. It is a manifestation of my mind, an emotional response my mind creates when certain environmental factors shift a little too far in the wrong direction.

Quite often for me, this is simply light; daylight to be exact. It happened today and I found myself having the ‘clarification’ conversation’. It went something like this:

“Is is a bit darker here where we’re walking?” (my friend and I were walking in our local park)


“Is it subtly darker on this side of the lake as opposed to the other side? I can see sunlight over there, but this side feels unusually dim.”

“Hmm, yes now you mention it. It’s sunny there but it is darker here, probably because there are huge dark clouds above us?”

“Yup. I’d seen those, but I just need to check I’m seeing the same light as you.”

“Um, well yes then.”

All fine then, disaster averted. There will be no enveloping, breath-sucking fog veil my eyes today. These conversations are regular, necessary and an irritation to me. It would appear that my sensitive internal light-meter, finely honed from years of photography, is still very much functional. Darn it.

Published by Vanessa Potter

I'm Vanessa, writer, speaker and meditation enthusiast. I wasn't always a writer. I used to make annoying TV ads, which I'd still be doing, if I hadn't woken up blind and paralysed one morning in 2012. Yup. It was one helluva wake-up call and I wrote a book about it. That experience turned me into the curious, self-experimenting, brain-obsessed woman I am now. I've just spent the last 3 years practising 10 different meditation techniques as part of a ground-breaking EEG study with Cambridge. Follow me to find out what happened. 'Finding my Right Mind: One Woman's Experiment to put Meditation to the Test, publishing 2021.

2 thoughts on “The lights are on

  1. What a story! I just posted about my flu experience, but yours is the most dramatic I have ever heard. I wish people realised that they have to stay in bed when sick. It would eliminate a half of all the complications, I am certain. Wishing you all the best!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: