Fear does not exist, it doesn’t lurk inside of me. It is a manifestation of my mind, an emotional response my mind creates when certain environmental factors shift a little too far in the wrong direction.
Quite often for me, this is simply light; daylight to be exact. It happened today and I found myself having the ‘clarification’ conversation’. It went something like this:
“Is is a bit darker here where we’re walking?” (my friend and I were walking in our local park)
“Is it subtly darker on this side of the lake as opposed to the other side? I can see sunlight over there, but this side feels unusually dim.”
“Hmm, yes now you mention it. It’s sunny there but it is darker here, probably because there are huge dark clouds above us?”
“Yup. I’d seen those, but I just need to check I’m seeing the same light as you.”
“Um, well yes then.”
All fine then, disaster averted. There will be no enveloping, breath-sucking fog veil my eyes today. These conversations are regular, necessary and an irritation to me. It would appear that my sensitive internal light-meter, finely honed from years of photography, is still very much functional. Darn it.